Sunday, October 7, 2012
Derrid-ugh
I find no joy in Jacques Derrida. I had hoped that Archive Fever would offer inspiration to me in my search for DISSERTATION INSPIRATION but I find myself back in that uncomfortable place of wondering exactly how all that I am spending so much time reading and discussing and writing about is actually going to serve me in my work. As I read, the whispers of unresolved issues grow louder and louder.
Here are some that won’t be silenced:
1. Am I supposed to be able to follow this materially gracefully?
2. If I am not supposed to be able to follow this material gracefully, am I supposed to grapple and toil with it until the clouds of opacity break? In other words, is this like going through a tough workout at the gym? A workout which isn’t inviting…one where you want repeatedly to give up but one that the dedicated will plow-through and end up rewarded for brooking in the end?
3. Should I be able to see how this is applicable to my work as a practitioner? As an educator?
4. Is this information something I should prepare to pass along? My guess is that the answer to THAT question is YES and if it IS yes, how do I learn to love the material enough to help students find it interesting and vital?
5. Does the fact that I would prefer to return Derrida’s book to the library never to lay eyes upon it again mean that I am less of an academic?
6. Why do encounters with this type of writing always send me into deep contemplation over my choice to pursue a PhD?
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Start with that last question. Why does this kind of writing make you question your PhD-ness so much?
ReplyDeleteThis ain't your first rodeo. You know that not all academic or theoretical writing is like this. You know there's complicated and wonderful stuff you get better than the average person. You know you can be a fulfilled/successful/inspirational scholar-artist without hitting the "like" button of every scrap of French Theory that comes across your desk. No one--no one--likes/gets every bit of theory equally. Anyone who says otherwise is a bear.
If a particular text is not useful to you, do your best to give it a chance--and then move on. Sink back into the stuff (Foucault) that turned on lights for ya. Your dissertation, after all, will be more about The Stuff You Want To Research than The Stuff You Didn't Like.
John